Is the patriarchy ruining your sex life? (And what to do about it)

One day, I asked on an online forum about the number one frustration of women when it comes to their sex lives and pleasure. The answers came thick and fast.

One of the answers was, ‘The patriarchy’.

(When I say patriarchy, I don’t mean ‘men’ - I mean the few that try to control the many).

Now, I completely agree with the women who posted this answer- I want to smash the patriarchy in holy rage, as much as the next feminist does.

And, it’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to feel however you’re feeling.

Anger is right and holy.

Heck, my anger at the patriarchy came seemingly out of nowhere in full flaming rage 4 years ago - and still comes up.

But once I really went into the anger and safely released it (with the help of a trained trauma-aware professional), I found I had opened up some energy that was previously trapped.

And this gave way to something else, a veritable weapon against the patriarchy…

Pleasure.

Pleasure is indispensable in dismantling the patriarchy.

Here’s why:

If I’m not giving myself the pleasure and sexual satisfaction I need, how will I be nourished enough to go fight the patriarchy?

If there’s no pleasure and only fight, the inevitable result is burnout.

Remember, pleasure is ridiculously important to overall health (so much so, that Dr Christiane Northrup calls Pleasure ‘Vitamin P’).

If we’re not healthy and nourished in our sexuality and pleasure, we’re not going to be able to sustain the fight against the patriarchy.

We’re in this resistance against the patriarchy for the long haul- not to fizzle out in the short term.

The more sexually empowered, pleasured and wild women there are in the world, the better chance we have of reclaiming our lives from the few that try to control the many.

We need to fill our own cups first- and THAT starts with taking our pleasure into our own hands.

Yes, the patriarchy is millennia old... but it won’t stand a chance against our true, genuine pleasure.

Viva la revolution!